Happiness is not a dirty word
This is my bible on achieving long term happiness. I have been happy every day for almost three years. Every day. And no, I didn’t join a cult, incur a brain injury, or win the lottery. Don’t believe the naysayers. A state of long term happiness can be achieved. Even during a pandemic. Even if you don’t like the president. Even if you face discrimination. Even if you face devastating illness.
First…define it to find it.
What is Happiness?
Happiness… is it hard to delineate, a multifaceted jewel that changes from every angle? Or can you put it in just two boxes?
Happiness in the moment: Your team just won the World Series. The birth of your first child. Catching that perfect wave. The presentation that came off flawlessly. Closing the big deal. French onion soup from Jake’s in Portland. Sex on the beach.. the act, not the drink.. well maybe the drink too. Intense happiness, but fleeting.
Or…
The deep, slow hum of a soul fulfilled during the journey: Your team won a World Series, but you also have enjoyed a long, fun 15 year career in the majors. Living on the scuba boat you bought in Hawaii, teaching classes to the tourists as you enjoy paradise and grow old. Taking a business from the garage to the New York Stock Exchange. A career with 20 patents and thousands of lives saved. Being the chef/owner of that famous restaurant. Raising a family to adulthood with your true life partner. Not always joyful, ups and downs, but overall a life fulfilled.
Two very big boxes. One hedonistic. Pursuing happiness. The short term orgasmic rush of pleasure.
The other eudaemonic. Building happiness. A flourishing oak tree, rooted in rich soil.
So now, which boxes are most important? Where does most of your happiness reside? Where do you want the pieces to live?
Both boxes are important. They conflict at times, but really, both are needed and flourish together. Your pieces of happiness should be in both boxes.
The Happiness Percentages
Researchers say 50% of your happiness is genetically based. Seems outrageously large at first. But, we all know people who are forever pessimistic, sad, complainers. “How are you doing today?” is always greeted with a list of complaints, ailments, or on their best of days an “ok”. And then there are those who exude happiness no matter what the circumstances. Perhaps the 50% is about right, with most of us simply not on either end of the genetic extremes but somewhere near the middle.
Then, they say, 10% of happiness is based on circumstances. Where you find yourself in life. What country you live, who you married, how much money you have, ethnicity, occupation. At first, that 10% slice seems low, but think about the average person in the US. Is almost everyone happy? By income, if you make just $32,400 per year or more, then you are in the top 1% in the world. And yet that top 1% status doesn’t push happiness like you would expect.
That leaves the remaining 40% of happiness to go, and thankfully it is under our control. Researchers say it is the activities we choose, as opposed to circumstances or genetics. What do we do each day with our time. Regardless of where we live. Regardless of our finances. Sometimes we relinquish that control to greater or lesser degrees. But ultimately, we do have much control in these choices.
The Smiley Face Curve of Happiness
I had a grad school professor who suggested plotting our individual level of happiness and income every quarter after we graduated. The result, for most people, illustrated that as income rose over time, happiness was not correlated. Much more recently, research has been published showing a U curve to happiness. Very high as a kid and young adult, then slowly dropping over time, hitting a low in your 50’s, then rising rapidly the older you get. The graph represents a smiley face of happiness.
If you are young, it can be a depressing harbinger of potentially rough times ahead. If you are around 50, it is a ray of hope… your happiness should soon rebound. Independent of income. Across cultures, across countries, and surprisingly it even extends to non-humans. Studies of chimpanzees, orangutans and great apes have all borne out the smiley curve.
Happiness starts out high, slowly declines, then rebounds with increasing age. Knowing this, is not a prison sentence, but an opportunity. Control what you can control.
Happiness.. A Tale of Two Plants
From the section above… 50% of your happiness is genetically based, 10% from circumstances… with 40% based on actions/activities that we control Now lets look at work happiness… picture these two factory floor cultures:
The Happy Plant
Twenty+ years have passed since I worked in the manufacturing plant ahead of its’ time. World class safety, quality, productivity… and excellent morale on the factory floor. It was a “pay for skills” plant. The more skills you learned, the more equipment you were certified on, the more places you could flexibly move to in the plant. And the higher your hourly wage. It was a “Star Leadership” plant too. Self directed workforce, eliminating direct supervision… High Performance Work Teams in action. Employees on the floor rotating leadership responsibility for HR issues, financials, quality, etc.
I viewed the pay for skills strategy we built into that facility from the financial perspective. More skills, more flexibility powered more productivity. Productivity we could share with the employees thru higher wages. At the time, I never thought of the happiness impact. That crucial 40% of happiness based on actions/activities. We freed the factory workers to make choices. We gave them incentives to maximize their pay, but also to maximize their happiness. Impact that 40%… learn, grow, vary their work day. Do new things routinely. More personal control.
Another Brick in the Wall
Then, my last plant. Welcome to you job (punch press operator). Run this machine. Or, in some instances, the machine runs you. All… day… long. Day after day, week after week, month after month. Sure, eventually you could bid out to another job. And then, run another machine. All… day… long. Day after day, week after week, month after month. Till maybe, someday you bid out again to do something else. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
For this business, their 50% of genetic happiness was still locked in. The 10% of happiness was the circumstances they found themselves working in… this plant. The other 40%? Sadly, by the nature of the culture, the actions/activities options were vastly reduced. Stripped away for all but the most persistent. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
Change or Choose Where You Work
Compare the two happiness cultures. Employees of both plants had the same 50% genetic happiness locked in. The 10% happiness from work circumstances were much better at the first plant. But the key 40%, was also far, far superior at the first plant. Freedom to choose, to learn, to grow, to have the chance to apply a wide variety of skills. Every day, something new.
I pity the poor immigrant ( factory worker)
Whose strength is spent in vain
Whose heaven is like Ironsides
Whose tears are like rain
Who eats but is not satisfied
Who hears but does not see
Who falls in love with wealth itself
And turns his back on me — Bob Dylan
You have choices. One of the biggest is where you work.
Life Away from Work
Picture this: You have found your beach, and settled into your routine. You wake up in the morning, walk/run on your beach, stop by your favorite beach shack restaurant for a little brunch. You go back to your humble abode, write for a few hours. Then back to the beach, relax and watch the waves while doing a little reading. You eat a great dinner with fresh ingredients and head back to the beach for another sunset. Followed by a stop at your favorite brewhouse. The next day, you do it all again.
Happy?
Damn right! … for awhile.
But eventually, even if it is the best beach in the world, the best food, the best beer… eventually it would get old. You have your 50% of happiness your genes allow. You have the 10% by putting yourself in the best circumstances. But what about that 40% of happiness that comes from actions/activities. If you do the same thing, every day, over and over, you are minimizing your 40%.
We thrive on variety. This is my life now. Every day, we do things differently. We have seven beaches within ~10 minutes of us. And dozens and dozens within a short drive. Many different things to do at each. A four season climate. A multitude of restaurants to sample. Writing when I feel like it, not writing when I don’t. Maximizing happiness. Creating happiness.
Wrapping it up
It is important to note that my three years of living happy every day did not begin when we arrived at our beach. It began 200 days before. When I decided to leave my toxic work environment. When my wife and I decided to sell our house and move. We took control of our lives. Began to build our happiness.
But what if you are young? Raising a family? Living in a place less magical?
You still have your 50% of happiness that your genetic makeup allows. You still have a portion of the 10%, maybe a great deal of it assuming you love your job and family. And the 40%? It is within your power! Chose actions/activities wherever you are, whenever you can. Find a way to do things a little differently. Find a different path to go on your run. Try new recipes for your meals. Seek out new places to explore.
Creating happiness is still up to you, wherever you are. Drink deep some hedonistic pleasure. Enjoy the rush. But nurture your other happiness. Choose it. Grow it. That happiness you can live every day.
Or, as I love to say…
For 99.9% of people, for 99.9% of the time, happiness is a choice. I hope you chose happiness.