I been out on that open road…
Is it the path, the sights soaked in? Or the wide open way ahead? The solace, only momentarily interrupted by a fellow traveler. Or the heart pumping in tune to the legs, at one with the wheeled machine?
Regardless, the pleasure was pure. An hour a day. Faster and faster. Stronger and stronger.
Don’t break me down (Don’t break me down)
I been traveling too long (I been traveling too long)
I been trying too hard (I been trying too hard)
With one pretty song (With one pretty song)…
And it was gone
Body broken down by a vaccine booster. Betrayed. Crippling pain, weeks on end, replaced the highs of the road. As the illness eased, the Michigan winter announced itself.
I was left with the dreams of a spring return.
I hear the birds on the summer breeze, I drive fast
I am alone at midnight
Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I
I’ve got a war in my mind
So, I just ride, just ride
I just ride, I just ride
Dreams disturbed by Apple Watch warnings. Afib!!! Over and over. High heart rate alerts… even from the tiny exertion of taking a shower. Heart rate variability quadrupling. To the doctors I went. Test after test. Yes, you have afib. No, you don’t. Your heart is strong. One side of your heart is enlarged. Finally they found it…pulmonary embolisms… blood clots in the lungs messing with my heart.
Don’t leave me now (Don’t leave me now)
Don’t say goodbye (Don’t say goodbye)
Don’t turn around (Don’t turn around)
Leave me high and dry (Leave me high and dry)
Crap! People die from this! Blood thinners. Take it very easy. And you shall ride again. So down go the pills. Slow walking. Waiting. Dreaming again.
I hear the birds on the summer breeze, I drive fast
I am alone at midnight
Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I
I’ve got a war in my mind
I just ride, just ride
I just ride, I just ride
And more…
Toss in two bouts of kidney stones just for fun. The nurse says, “l liken kidney stones to childbirth without the epidermal.” Really? I think more like a gunshot wound without the lead. But what do I know?
Let’s stir in a detached retina. Unsuccessful laser surgery (twice). Surgery to save the eye. But can’t stop the blood thinners…cause, well, people die when stopping Eliquis. So bleeding in the eye while trying to rescue a retina. Three needles in the eye while fully conscious. Silicone oil filled to push and hold the retina in place. More surgery to come in the fall to remove the oil. Oh, and the oil causes a cataract to form. So losing vision all summer, then even more surgery.
I’m tired of feeling like I’m fucking crazy
I’m tired of driving ’til I see stars in my eyes
It’s all I’ve got to keep myself sane, baby
So I just ride, I just ride
I’m back!
Maybe I have survived my body’s cascade failure… booster reaction to blood clots to heart to kidney stones to detached retina to a cataract. Two surgeries to go. A couple months back I stopped having “fake Afib” and other Apple Watch warnings. The nod to a slow return to cycling. “Just not too fast.”
Last 10 months has pulled me away from writing. Maybe this whole post sounds like whining.
It is not. I have remained happy every day (excluding a few nights of unwanted severe pain.)
I am still free. And happy. I just got back from pedaling again!
I hear the birds on the summer breeze, I drive fast
I am alone at midnight
Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I
I’ve got a war in my mind
I just ride, just ride
I just ride, I just ride
I been out on that open road…
(Great thing about songs, we are free to give them our own meaning…this was my thank you to Lana Del Rey)
I been out on that open road…
(Great thing about songs, we are free to give them our own meaning…this was my thank you to Lana Del Rey)
You got this! Scary ride, but one-by-one you’ll get the issues under control. Sounds pat, but it’s true. I’ve found that when one has health issues but can still go on living, the stress abates. I’m voting for you!
Thank you! Doing great. Back to riding most every day 😉