I follow Sina Fak on LinkedIn for his insightful posts. I responded to the one below. While I agree with most of his comments, and even this one in general, there is another side of this coin. Sometimes imagining, and acting upon it, rewards you with experiencing it… happiness!
Here is Sina Oak’s post:
Imagining vs Experiencing Happiness How would you answer this? “On a scale from 1 to 10, how happy are you with life?
” You might start by looking at experiences you remember A) Making you happy or B) THINKING would make you happy You believe happiness being… On the beach. Not at the grocery store. Racing sports cars. Not driving in traffic to work. Hanging out with Hugh Jackman. Not your Aunt Sally.
We’re so confident about what makes us happy, passionate, in love, that we make LIFE CHANGING decisions based on these beliefs. But often that confidence is based on an imperfect + subjective idea/experience. We want to be on the beach… but we when we’re there, it’s too hot, we get sunburn, find sand in places we didn’t know existed, and end up back in a comfortable air-conditioned room on a big leather couch watching Netflix – a pastime that oddly resembles evenings in our normal “unhappy” life.
Here’s the thing We’re surprisingly bad at judging our emotions, including happiness. Our brains are programmed to imagine the future – but it also likes to make the least possible effort; so the image we come up with is often incomplete. Instead of always imagining happiness, start experiencing it. Maybe finding something wonderful at the grocery store.”
I responded to Sina Fak, saying I rated my happiness a “10”. He asked me how I came up with the score… by what metrics. I also observed many of his followers saying things like “happiness is an illusion”. I disagree. Here was my response.
I believe people who say “happiness is an illusion” are defining happiness in only the fleeting, “at the moment” level.
I take my cue from Aristotle, and put in my words, “happiness in the moment” is called hedonia. Then there is a longer term happiness, “the deep slow hum of a soul fulfilled during the life journey”… called eudaemonia.
Both kind of happiness are important. Yes, they can conflict. Seek only the first, and you will not be happy longterm. Seek only the second, and you miss out on most of the joy in life. Both I am measuring in my “10” score.
Then, also remember that research says 50% of your happiness is genetically based (everyone knows people unhappy or happy almost perpetually). Only 10% is circumstance based (Yay! I won the lottery). With remaining 40% being activities based (what do you do each day of your life).
So, for me personally, in 2018 I executed a plan to completely change my circumstances. I am living my version of a minimalist life on the beach, having sold the house, quit the job, etc. I nailed the 10%.
But, I am also doing what I always wanted to do… writing, reading, challenging myself and growing every day. Plus exploring my new world. My activities. I don’t go to the same beach every day, and do the same routine. Instead, we explore… new beaches, new shops, new restaurants, new lighthouses, new wineries, meeting new people, deepening friendships with the happy positive people we meet. Pretty much nailing the 40%.
Then there is the remaining 50% that is “genetic”. Well, turns out it is not completely genetic after all. There are ways to change your brain chemistry, and your brain itself by being immersed in nature, living next to beautiful water (Blue Mind). I believe I am maximizing my 50% potential. So, there is my summarized metrics by which I am claiming “10”.
Plus, I just feel the “10”… most every day now.