George Orwell wrote…
The great mass of human beings are not acutely selfish. After the age of about thirty they almost abandon the sense of being individuals at all — and live chiefly for others, or are simply smothered under drudgery. But there is also the minority of gifted, willful people who are determined to live their own lives to the end, and writers belong in this class
An observation worth rereading. Fits me all the way through the drudgery. I was not in the minority of willful people living my own life to the end. And I am good with that. But now… is my chance.